Where Exempts Come From

  • A testicle-eating fish was reportedly found in Lake Lou Yaeger in Litchfield, Illinois.

    A fish with teeth, called a 'pacu,' was found in the lake, according to Illinois Department of Natural Resources.

    According to KSDK, a fisherman caught a Pacu back on June 7th, while another man caught a pacu ten days later. While a Pacu poses no real threat to humans, Metro.co.uk reported two local men died in the river, after their testicles were eaten by a pacu fish.

And then we discovered that certain high-ranking exempts owned land in and around the Lithcfield area, prior to being made gold stars. And they had other ambitious lieutenants, captains and XO's over for a visit prior to them also being made exempt. So there seems to be a pattern, perhaps a secret initiation? It would certainly explain the completely docile attitude on display weekly at the CompStat meetings.

Indicted former aldercreature and Cook County commissioner Beavers was heard bragging he doesn't go to Litchfield, but if he did, he'd be a seven course meal for a Pacu, with enough left over for dessert.