Mum's the Word

If you bad mouth Chicago, you might find yourself in this officer's shoes:

• A veteran officer with a clean record is being investigated by the St. Petersburg Police Department (SPPD) after he warned the father of a robbery victim about a dangerous part of town.

  Officer Thad "Stu" Crisco, who was recently in headlines for honoring his fallen partner David Crawford, allegedly warned St. Petersburg father Bob Esposito about letting his 16-year-old daughter hang around the Northshore Pool at night. Esposito's daughter was one of five teens robbed by a group of armed men there about 10:30 p.m. on a recent weeknight.

  "I wouldn't come down here at night," Esposito said of the Northshore Pool area and Downtown, where he admits he used to loiter as a teen. "And I was told by one of the police officers not to come down here either."

  That comment, made by Crisco the night of the robbery, was inadvertently relayed to his superior when Esposito was following up with SPPD. The department then launched an investigation into "disparaging comments against the city."

So stop warning people to stay away from the beaches and avoid downtown after dark. And certainly don't mention stay out of Englewood 24/7. Chicago is now the happiest place on earth with no crime and no heat. Rainbows and unicorns are the order of the day.